


Enough

by Dreaming_Of_The_Fae



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Always, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Jeno is just confused, M/M, Noren, Renjun is a sad baby, because why not, because you can't have a disfunctional relationship at sixteen, it's not angst unless someone cries, jejun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-12-01 15:33:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11489364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreaming_Of_The_Fae/pseuds/Dreaming_Of_The_Fae
Summary: They spent too much time changing the subject, avoiding each other's gazes. It wasn't enough, it would never be enough.





	Enough

**Author's Note:**

> I'm soft for noren and I felt like writing angst. And so this was created.
> 
> Enjoy~

_'I like you.'_

 

Jeno remembered their first kiss like it was yesterday. He was a stuttering mess as he confessed, praying that Renjun liked him too. He shut his eyes, waiting for an answer, but none came.

Instead he felt Renjun's lips on his, Renjun's hands on his waist, Renjun's hair brushing against his forehead. It was awkward and messy, but it was enough for both of them. In his opinion, it was better than any answer Renjun could have given.

So why wasn't it the same now? It was still a kiss, still Jeno wrapping his arms around Renjun, pulling him closer. Still Renjun whispering 'I love you' as he pulled away. But it felt... empty. There was nothing behind it.

They were together simply because they were together. Because they were lonely without each other and it hurt too much to let go.

They spent too much time changing the subject, avoiding each other's gazes. It wasn't enough, both of them knew that. Any time Jeno questioned their relationship, he would look at Renjun and his questions would be answered. But it wasn't the answer he wanted.

 

_'I love you.'_

 

Renjun smiled fondly at the memory of those words and all the different ways they had been said. Once through laughter and smiles;  
' _Stop it Renjun! You know i'm ticklish!'_

Once in a haunted house, his voice shaky and quiet. Once whispered in class; once in the middle of the night when they were half asleep. He would smile every time Jeno told him, his sweet voice lingering in Renjun's mind for hours afterwards.

But Jeno's voice wasn't sweet now, and he barely registered the words. And if he did, they were just words. It didn't mean anything anymore. A cold goodbye, maybe. Bad excuses, attempted apologies, empty words with emptier minds.

He pulled away a second too early, trying to ignore the slightly hurt look in Jeno's eyes. He faked the most affectionate smile he could, although it probably looked more like a grimace, before turning away and walking out of the room.

'I love you.' Jeno called, stopping Renjun from closing the door, but there was no sincerity behind the words.

'Jeno, I...' He began, but couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence. Instead, he closed the door with a sigh, leaning against it momentarily. On the other side, Jeno just sat down and stared at a picture on the wall. The picture was of the two of them, their first date, at an aquarium. They were smiling in the photo. It was rare to see a smile from either of them now. Jeno didn't even remember taking that photo if he was honest. It had been hung there since they moved in, and neither of them ever bothered to take it down. He wished he could go back to when they took the picture, then he wouldn't make the same stupid mistakes he kept making now.

Renjun looked out across the city, leaning on the balcony railing. He saw the park where Jeno used to take his dog on the weekends, and the river next to it. The light breeze was cooling, but the plain silver ring on his hand seemed to burn into his skin.

He took it off and held it in his palm, turning his hand so the light hit it differently. Jeno had given him the promise ring six years ago, when they were seventeen. Back then it had felt like he had been promised the whole world. His fingers closed around the ring and he threw it as far as he could, watching as it landed in the river.

He hadn't realised he was crying until he reflexively brought his arm up to wipe his tears away. When he did realise, however, he just sank to the ground and sobbed to himself.

A little while later he heard feet tapping on the stairs. As expected, Jeno soon pushed open the door to the balcony. He sat down next to Renjun, the look on his face half guilty and half worried.

'Renjun, what's wrong? Why are you crying? Here, take my jacket, it's cold tonight.'

He handed his sweater to a Renjun after noticing he was shivering.

'I...I don't know. I miss you. I miss us. I-' he started, but ended up sobbing into Jeno's shoulder instead.

'You miss me?' Jeno laughed, trying and failing to lighten the mood, 'but I'm right here.'

'No. No you're not. Not _my_ Jeno. You've changed and I don't know what to do and it's just not fair!' He babbled, shouting by the time he finished his sentence. Jeno sat up, taken aback.

'Renjun... it's been six years since we started dating, and you spent the last two in China. What did you think would happen?'

He wiped Renjun's tears with his sleeve, pulling the corners of his mouth into a smile.

'I know, but it still scares me. I miss the way you used to be.' Renjun mumbled, leaning back against the balcony railing.

'Says the person who dyed his hair bright red while he was away,' Jeno scoffed, earning a laugh from Renjun. 'Hey, we can start again if you want. And I promise I'll replace that ring with a wedding ring one day.'

He clasped Renjun's hands, lacing their fingers together. Renjun glanced down to see Jeno's ring still sparkling in the moonlight. He took a deep breath before looking back up at Jeno.

'No.'

'W-what?'

'I said no. We can start again, but no promises. If things don't work out, then that's just the way it is. We can't try to keep something we didn't have in the first place.' He breathed, more tears threatening to fall.

'Okay, it's okay, no promises. Here, I won't need this anymore then.' Jeno slipped his own ring off his finger, placing it in the palm of Renjun's hand. The two stood up together and Renjun threw the ring out to the river. They both leant back against the railing, Jeno smiling down at Renjun. Renjun smiled back up at him, a small nervous smile that almost wasn't there. It wasn't much, but it was a start.

And it was enough.


End file.
